Carrie Underwood and Our 3 Year Anniversary!!!

So...first of all, Carrie Underwood was AMAZING!!! I am so glad that I got to go. And as promised I am posting pictures. I got some of Jessica and I, but I was told that I couldn't take my camera in and since I didn't want to try and then have to take a nice walk all the way back to my car, I left it....only to get into the arena and see EVERYONE taking pictures. I was SOOOOOOOO pissed. Anyways, it was so cool and I am totally going to go to one next year!!So this one is Jessica and I before we left work to go to the concert!!!


And this one is Jessica and I in front of the arena. It's very small behind us and to the left!!




Next...Today Matt and I celebrated our 3 year anniversary!!! It was a really fun day. we started by going to the store and getting me a new outfit!! It's funny though, cuz Matt didn't see it until we got home and that's when I realized...the clothes I picked out were my wedding colors!! I thought it was funny. Poor Matt got sick so we didn't do much of anything most of the day and I was starting to get really depressed, and then he surprised me and took me to Texas Roadhouse, which is where we went for dinner the night before our wedding. It's the only 2 times I have been there and it was delicious!!! Now we are home just chilling!! I can't believe it's already been 3 years!!! Here's a couple pictures!!!

These 2 are Matt and I just playing and taking pictures!!





And this one is Matt and I at Texas Roadhouse eating some yummy food!!!

Time for an Update!!!

Not much has been going on here on my side of town. Matt FINALLY got a job!!! Good thing, I was starting to give up hope. My mom,sister, and niece and nephew came out from Illinois. It was really nice to see them and we all got together(except for Matt because of his wonderful new job) had dinner at Applebees and just talked and laughed. I got to hold Nathan and Madi....sad but wonderful!! Sorry it's so short...but nothing else is going on. I will definately be posting soon though cuz tomorrow night I am going to....CARRIE UNDERWOOD!!! I couldn't be more excited. It's my first concert though so I am a little nervous. I will post pre concert pics though!!!

Nathan Daniel Anderson!!

Guess what!?!? It's baby central here in my family. I know I just posted that my sister had her baby but...on October 14, 2008 my brother and his wife, Rachel, welcomed their first baby. He is so adorable and looks just like Danny. It's so funny though because I thought he was going to have dark hair...but no...his hair is WHITE!! That's so crazy. He was 9 lbs. Poor Rachel. But he is the cutest little boy I have ever seen in my life...well, next to Jackson of course. My kids are going to have a lot to live up to!!

Anyways, here are some pictures of him. He is SOOO precious.. I went to see them at the hospital and of course I forgot my camera, so here are some from Rachel's page!!!

Rylee!!!!

Yesterday was Rylee's birthday. My baby turned 2!!! I can't believe how big she is and much she has grown in just 2 years. She is at such a fun age!!! Anyways, so for her birthday she spent the night with us and Matt, Steve, and I made her a cake and sang Happy Birthday to her.







She is SO freaking cute!! Then after a sleepless night, thanks to my little angel girl!!!,I did her hair while I was getting ready for work!!





She's so cute....I just cant get over it. I never thought I could love a little girl like I love her..well, she is up there with Madison!!! Matt went to Stephanie's house to get something and she followed him around saying "Me bye-bye Matt and Mama!!!" And when he told her that I wasn't mama i am aunt Cristi...she said "No" and then cried some more and said "Please?" Oh..and she absolutely LOVES swimming. Here entire face lights up when you ask if she wants to go!!!!

Madilyn!!!!

Today is much better than yesterday. I have found lately that I am very depressed. I don't know why and I don't really know how to fix it. I am really lagging in the gratefullness area. I am very thankful right now that I have a place to live. I am grateful for my friends and loved ones. I know that sometimes I don't act very grateful for family...but I know any day at any time that they would walk through fire for me, and I would do the same for them!! I am SOOOO grateful for the knowledge that I have about th church. I know so many people that don't have that...and my heart aches for them, on the other hand I know lots of people that do know and don't care. That don't do anything with the priveledge, and for them, I feel NO pitty.


Well, enough about that. My sister Sara had her baby!! She is SO beautiful!!! She looks just like her big sister, and her brother. Her name is Madilyn Dee Lines! She was born on Saturday September 27, 2008. I am so excited for her!!! I am also really excited for Rachel and Danny to have their little boy soon. I went shopping and bought a couple onsies!!! They are really cute!!!


Here's a picture of my newest, most BEAUTIFUL niece!!!

This one's a LAME one!!!

So...I know. I've been a slacker. I haven't had internet or time to get on and post anything, so this may be boring. Matt still isn't working and it seems like I am ALWAYS working, I feel like even on my day off I am working...oh wait, that's because I do. I always seem to get called in. Anyways, not much is going on here. We are still trying to get things cleared up so that we can move out to Florence in March or April.

On another note...I miss my family. Matt and I are primary teachers and one of my favorite songs is I Love to See the Temple. It has always been one of my favorites, but a couple Sundays ago we were singing and I started crying. I felt really pathetic, but it made me realize that I miss my family. I also miss Matt's family. I know they live really close but it seems like I never get to see them either.

Anyways...so that's all. I will try and update more often!!

What have we been up to?

Well,

Matt and I have not really been up to anything exciting lately. I have just been working like crazy. Working as many hour as I can. Matt on the other hand...hasn't had any luck finding a job. He finally found something that he is SO excited to do. It is called SaladMaster.

In other news, Matt and I decided to stop trying to have a baby. If it happens then we will be so excited, but since it's not...it is too hard for us. It seems at least for me that I have somewhat been happier since making this decision.

Other than that, We have not been up to very much.

All you can do is live tomorrow like there was no yesterday!

I don't even have a title for this post because I think that in order for something to have a title, it should be happy. Well, this isn't going to be an all happy note...so read a little and then stop if you don't want to read what's coming.

So this morning started off really fun. Josh,Aimee,Matt and I all went to the sonoran living show this morning. It was really fun!!! Then...we had some fun in the car because Josh almost killed us...or we couldn't decide where we were going to eat. We ended up eating at Denny's and it was SO fun...Matt embarrased us because he was wearing a really goofy hat. I'm sure Aimee loves us enough that she will post the funny picture. I know it's coming Aimee, so thanks in advance! Then we went over and spent the day helping Aimee and Josh move and clean. It was as fun as it could be for moving.
This is where you should stop reading if you aren't interested in hearing me vent!!
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Ok...so please just let me vent. I had a really fun day and then I came home and I feel like my whole life is falling apart right in front of me. I mean, I have a good job and I LOVE it. Honestly, I love what I do...but sometimes I feel like it isn't enough...I need more. I would love to go back to school and get a degree in Interior Design...it's another ambition I have...but I know it will never happen. I just feel like I am missing so much in my life. I have such a desire to have a baby. I know it is old news...but I just can't get over it...I want one SO bad. I must say though that I am REALLY excited, Matt and I finally got a new calling after 2 years of...could have been better service as ward missionaries(please add an emphasis on could have been better because we NEVER did it!!! Hey...I'm only human!) Anyways, our new calling is going to be in the primary...which is like...something I have always wanted to do. I love working with kids...sometimes I get overwhelmed...but I love it. There is one thing that makes me so sad though. Something that only one person knows about and she should know who she is.

Anyways, Thanks to all of you that waited through this!!! Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day and I will forget about all my problems from today!!

Randomness

So...this is going to be short, but I thought it was really funny and really random. So Matt and his dad were out doing something with his car..and I guess a package came for me. So I was all excited and I opened it...and it was baby formula. My first thought was...is this a cruel joke...cuz it's not funny!!! But then I just had to laugh. So I was telling Matt that it wouldn't be good by the time we had kids. So Matt's dad told me to check for an expiration date...so I did..and when I saw it I told Matt that we better have kids by then. The expiration date is 2011. I am planning on breast feeding, but I figured I would keep it just in case I need it...which hopefully I won't...but you never know. So...I got regular formula and soy formula. Isn't that really random?

Heather

I have known Heather for going on 6 years now. Wow...it is actually weird to think that it has been that long, but suprisingly it has been. I met her when she was pregnant with Madison. Anyways, we have shared lots of birthdays together, lots of fun times, and lots of not so fun times. Last year for Heathers birthday, Stephanie and I went shopping for Heather and got her lots of clothes, and then took her out to dinner(we took her to Bucca de Beppo..it wasn't as good as I remembered it.) Anyways, so this year we decided to get her more clothes. So Steph, Laurie, and I bought her some REALLY cute clothes. Heather would be pissed if she knew I was putting these pictures up because they definately don't do her justice and show her true beauty. Anyways, so here are some pictures in her new birthday clothes.

Rylee

K...so I know I have already posted today...but I was looking through pictures...and I just thought this was the CUTEST picture ever.
So for awhile Matt and I were taking Rylee to church with us...and so I obviously would get her dressed. Well she never would let us put bows in her hair...but I decided to try anyways. I think this is the first time she let us put it in her hair and she kept it in there. This picture is from months ago...but I love it. And I think it is so cute because she is sitting there with Chris. I just think she looked so cute...I want to blow it up for Stephanie...so Steph...if you are reading this...you know NOTHING!!! I love you though!!

Our 3rd Boy!!!

Our Little Family!!!

So, my mother in laws dog had puppies on Mothers Day. It was her only litter, and I said we were not getting another dog. But because Matt always wins...and the puppies were so cute, we got another boy!!! His name is Butterscotch(I chose the name) He is the cutest little thing. It is so weird to think that Oinkie was this small when I got him. Anyways, I cut a friends hair...and she had an extra doggy bed and asked us if we wanted it. I immediately said yes because when we got Max, I told Matt that he couldn't sleep on the bed because Oinkie already does. So we compromised and I told Matt that Max could sleep on the bed as long as it was on Matt's side. Well, Max has only slept on Matt's side MAYBE 5 times. So we went to clean the bed and get it ready for Max...and we put it down...and Max won't sleep on it. I said it was his little Maxi pad(LOL...I thought this was funny.) Anyways....so all of the dogs in our house are NOT dogs...they are boys..so Butterscotch now has his own boy bed...and maybe someday we can get Max to sleep somewhere other than my bed!!!

Fun with Aimee and Josh!!

So last night we got to go over to Aimee and Josh's house for the first time in a REALLY REALLY long time. I think it has been over like 2 months since we got to go. Well Aimee and I planned it and I was going to surprise Matt because he is ALWAYS bugging me about how he misses Josh(what's he going to do when Josh and Aimee move to Florence?? Matt has already planned that one...we are going to move out there with them!!) Anyways...so I got Matt in the car and told him to lay down and close his eyes so he couldn't tell where we were...well...he knew exactly where we were. So I tried taking different directions but it didn't work very well, but he was still excited that we got to go. So we got there and we talked for a little while and then the men decided to go see "The Happening." Well Aimee and I had no desire to see this so we stayed home. We had so much fun...Aimee made brownies, and since I didn't want to be rude...I helped her eat some. They were SO FREAKING GOOD!!! Thanks Aimee!!! Then we talked some more and I was telling her that I wanted to go see a certain movie. So she took me to this AMAZING site...and I am sure glad she showed it to me. I am the kind of person that does NOT like to see movies with naked people and I don't like to hear cuss words...especially when it is every other word. So if any of you are interested in checking up on movies before you go see them...the site is kidsinmind.com. All in all it was a really fun night...but I am going to be really sad when they move...hopefully we will follow them shortly!! But until then, Matt is going to get a good paying job so that we can drive out there to see them!!!

Two(For Julie!!)

So I was reading a friends blog and she did a cute little thing on it. She just listed a couple things that she likes..only 2 of them. So I decided to do the same thing...so that maybe you could get to know me just a little bit better, and then you can do the same!!!

2 of my fav songs- I'm gonna love you forever by Jessica Simpson, and pretty much ANY Tim McGraw song
2 of my best friends-McKenna and Stephanie
2 of my favorite movies-GREASE!!! and Charly
2of my favorite foods-Chicken Nuggets and French Fries!! Yummy
2 of my favorite drinks-Dr. Pepper...and more Dr. Pepper!(Does that count as 2 if I drink it 2 different times a day?)
2 of my favorite colors-Teal and...PINK
2 things I would do if money wasn't an issue-probably pay off debt....and DUH!!! Go shopping. As I have taught my nieces...a girl can NEVER have enough shoes!

Now it's your turn..come on people.

Matt's Birthday!!!

So today Matt turned 26!!! I was a nice wife and let him play x-box most of the day while I went out with Laurie and Steph. It was really fun!! Then when I got home I surprised Matt and I made him a cake...it was SO cute! I am really proud of myself. I just made a chocolate cake with chocolate frosting...but I took some white cream cheese frosting and colored it blue and wrote Happy Birthday Matt on it. Then tonight I had his parents and Steph and his best friend Steve come over and we sung happy birthday to him! It was so fun!!! I took pictures but I am too blogger illiterate to figure out how to post them with this post!! Thanks for everyone who wished Matt a happy birthday and thanks Steph and Laurie for the help with the cake!!! I love you Matt....thanks for letting me share in your birthday fun with you!!

I'm a working girl!!

I am such a slacker!!! I thought that I was doing really good at updating this, but it seems like ever since I started my job, I don't have time for anything. As many of you might know, I am NOT a night person, so work this week has almost killed me off.
On Tuesday afternoon, I started my first day as a hairstylist. I know that I love it and that is what got me through that day. I had some....RUDE customers come in, but for the most part it was a really good day and I had a really good time. This entire week I have been working from 1-9...which I HATE, so I have been begging to be switched to days. My dream came true!! Next week I get to work days!!! Anyways, for any of you that need to get a haircut...feel free to come on by, I work at Mastercuts in the Fiesta Mall

When did I get so old???

So as many of you know I took my practical test last week, and I have been super stressed about it lately...waiting to hear if I passed. Well...I heard a teacher say that if I passed I would be able to look up my license number online within 3-5 days, so like an obsessed person, I have been checking the website everyday...all day long. Well, as of this morning I still couldn't find my name ANYWHERE, so I instead of worrying about typing my name correctly like I was before, I began to worry if I passed. And if I didn't pass, it would be so embarassing and I would have to wait another 2 months and have to come up with the money all over again. Anyways, long story short, I got my license in the mail today. I was going to try and wait until my parents were here this weekend, but I couldn't help it. I HAD to open it.

So then...instead of being super excited and happy, I began to worry about how long it is going to take for us to get caught up on bills..and will I be good at what I do...and did I make the right career choice. I don't ever remember worrying like this. When did I get so old that I worry about EVERYTHING???

Playing mom and other stuff

I never quite understood what people meant when they said being a mom is a lot harder than people think. This past week I got to watch Stephanie's kids...and it was HARD!! I NEVER thought that it would be as hard as it was. It would seem like they would just push me to my limit everytime. And I think I get so frustrated because I did all the stuff they tried to pull on me. I give them an inch and they take a mile!!! It was most definately a lot of work but it was really rewarding!! It was so "nice" to see Rylee in the middle of the night screaming...but then it was more nice to hear her say please!! And it was nice to see her want me!! And we got to dance(she looks so cute when she dances the way I taught her). It was stressful...but a GREAT experience.

Then there was Mothers Day...which sucked just as much as I thought it would. I made sure I called my mommy..and I texted my family and friends that are mommies!! And it was a really hard day but I was doing really well not to feel too bad about myself and cry...and then I got a text from a friend, and I just started bawling. She wished me a happy mothers day and before I could even tell her not to bother because I'm not a mother, she texted me "because I know you have some kids waiting for you!!" I started crying, but it wasn't a self pity cry, it was more of like a...you're right...I have been promised kids. I tried my best to put on a happy face and just be the best that I could. And all of a sudden..Chris brought over tons of rocks(he has this thing where he gives rocks out as gifts?!?!)Anyways, he offered me some and I said Chris...I'm not your mom you don't need to bring me anything, and it was SO cute. Chris was like...well you take care of me as good as my mom does...and you are kind of like my mom so I want you to have them. It was seriously SO FREAKING cute!!!

STATE BOARD!!! As most of you know, I went this morning to take my practical exam that I was super nervous about. I think I did really well, but won't know for sure for about 2 weeks...so I will let you all know.

Stephanie

So this morning at 5:00 I went over to Stephanie's house and she went off to the hospital to get her tubes tied. When she left I almost wanted to cry. I mean...isn't it ironic that Matt and I are trying so hard to have a baby...and Steph knows she's done and is trying so hard to prevent having kids. It made me really sad. Anyways...I feel so bad for Stephanie. If any of you are reading this and know Stephanie, please just keep her in your prayers. Her surgery went fine but she is having a hard time dealing with the pain. I mean...I'm sure it didn't help that her daughter accidentaly head butted her in the stomach. I gave Steph the best thing that helped me when I got my appendix out. Luckily for me my mom and my big sister were there the entire time, even when I was sleeping. Sara was awesome and when I was in the hospital and hadn't showered or changed my clothes or anything she went out to GAP and bought me some pajama pants and some clean underware...and my mom stayed by my side the whole time and bought me soda to help get the air out of my stomach, so I have been giving Steph soda non stop and it seems like it has been helping which I knew it would because it helped me!!! Thanks mom!!!

Anyways, back to my original point, please just pray for Stephanie. I know she will get better but it is just really hard to see someone you love in that much pain and not be able to do ANYTHING for him or her.

A Girl has got to do what a Girl has got to do!!

I have been feeling really good about myself lately!! While I was watching Stephanie's kids I got to talk to my sister...and she said some things to me that I didn't think anyone noticed. She told me that when I was younger I always did my hair and make-up and I was always dressed up. Well, lately you are lucky if you can even get me out of my grungy clothes. I mean, I change out of my pj's and into what looks like different pj's. I thought nobody noticed, I mean, nobody ever said anything to me. So I knew it was time to do something drastic. Since then, I had a really awesome person do my hair, and my wonderful sister in law took me to get a full girls day out!! We got pedicures, and conditioning treatments for our hair and then she took me out to lunch!! It was really fun and very much needed!(Thanks Steph!!!)

I also have been going to the gym. Not feeling any results yet except lots of pain, but it is amazing how much better I feel about myself! When I go, I get all sweaty...which would normally disgust me, but I love it. I love the feeling that I have actually done something!!(I know...I'm a freak, what can I say?)

I also had the chance to go with Steph and her family to do their family pictures. It was so fun!!! Aimee took some amazing pictures of them!!I will try and post some pictures!!

It's a MALE thing!!!!

Isn't it funny how men are SO different than women? I have been after Matt to find a doctor for...about a year now and he always told me that he was looking for one. Well, today I had had enough so I took his insurance card and was looking at doctors. I remembered that Matt had wanted to see the doctor that his mom has been seeing so I asked for the name and looked it up. No joke...within 5 minutes I not only made sure that the doctor took his insurance, but I made his appointment for him. Well, since I was feeling so good about my wonderful husband and everything that he does, I called his sister so that she could laugh with me. She said that her husband is the same way. Then as I was talking to her, I was thinking about when I was growing up. When my dad had to go away for work, who packed his bags??? NOT my dad...it was always my mom. When my dad needed to go to the doctor who made the appointment?? Again...NOT my dad.

I can't say that I necessarily mind doing everything for Matt...I mean, I cook for him, clean for him, make his lunches...everything, but just once...I would like to see him try and make an appointment without me. I am not even sure he knows how. Anytime someone asks me a question he has to ask me. I think it is so funny.

Speaking of funny things. Matt surprised me the other day (he was in trouble) and cleaned the room for me. I came home and I was SO excited. I mean..I should have taken a picture...he was vaccuming the fan..(I think he knew he was in trouble) Anyways, I was so excited that for once he cleaned and I didn't have to. So a couple days went by and the room was still clean. Then as I was looking for something this morning..I found all my stuff. It is currently stashed safely away in the amoir in the guest bedroom. And all my clothes are tucked nicely in their BASKET waiting to be folded. I am really glad he cleaned, but it was just funny because I can't start a project without finishing it. If I am going to clean...I am going to do all the laundry and everything that goes with it.
Well, I sort of got off track..I just thought that it was really funny that men are incapable of more than they know!!!

Family Bed

Yesterday as I was talking to Stephanie she said something about a family bed, and honestly I had no idea what she was talking about...till last night. Matt and I didn't get to bed until 10:00 (which for me is VERY late) and that is when it all started. Michael wanted to sleep in his mommies bed. I said Michael...you never sleep with aunt Cristi and uncle Matt at my house. And he replied...I sleep with the big boys at your house and I sleep with my mommy at her house. So I caved for the sake of arguement...and tried to get Rylee to sleep. She fell asleep, I handed her to Matt, Matt handed her back...wide awake. This is how it was for about half an hour when I finally said forget it. So I finally get to sleep...mind you it was Matt, myself, Michael, and Rylee in the bed...and I feel this big thud. It was Max, my big dog jumping on the bed. Then of course my little puppy wanted up. Meanwhile, Chris and Sky were asleep at the foot of the bed. At about 2 this morning I couldn't take it anymore and went with Rylee and slept on one of the kids beds.
I don't know if I can take another night like last night. I probably slept about 4 hours total last night....but of course...Matt slept like a baby!!!

How wrong I was...and am!!

This week I am playing mommy to Stephanie's children...all 5 of them. When she originally asked me I was like sure...no problem, and I wasn't worried about ANYTHING. Well...as of now, Jason and Stephanie have been gone for a total of 1 hour...and I can already tell I have my work cut out for me. Between the 1 year old that won't let me leave her sight, the 5 year old that doesn't care about anything that I say and the other 3 boys that...well, they know I am just their aunt and things will be fine as long as I don't tell mom what happened. So for all my friends out there in blog world...wish me luck!! I am sure there will be lots of funny stories to tell in the next 4 days, so I will keep you all updated!!

The Mama and the Papa!

My parents are completly awesome people!! Although we may not see eye to eye all the time, my parents were pretty down to earth..cool people altough I would never admit it. There are a few things in my life that I can pin point to my mom.
1. My mom taught me the art of pulling weeds. Most of the time when I was asked to do something I would do everything possible to get out of it, and it worked most of the time, but when it didn't work, my mom would go out and pull weeds with me and we would just talk about things. It was really nice.
2. My mom taught me that we(the children) were one of her greatest accomplishments. I remember times that we would go to the store and my mom would be looking at a dress or shirt or something, and she would carry it around in the cart for awhile and then when we...well I, would ask for something, she would put her stuff back so that I could get what I wanted.
3. My mom taught me that regardless of what I think, she knew EVERYTHING. I wasn't the best child(I know...shocking!!!)and I would do stupid things like try to sneak out to a school dance when I wasn't allowed...but I was dumb and left notes in my backpack and packed my dress in my backpack, which my mom went through everyday!! And then I would try to sneak out and lie about it, but mom knew everything.
4. My mom taught me the importance of family. I remember when I was younger that my mom was always home when we got home from school, and she usually had a snack waiting for us. And then as we got older and she didn't need to be home with us, she stocked us our own "snack" cabinet. It was awesome!
These are just a few reasons that I am grateful for my mom!!! I know it wasn't always easy for her. I admit it I was a HORRIBLE child, and I did horrible things, more so to my mom than my dad. Sometimes I was so awful to my mom that if she punished me...she may have killed me, so she would just make me sit in a chair until my dad got home and he could deal with me(which was so NOT fair..I got in trouble, but when the boys had to wait for dad, his punishment for them was ice-cream and telling them not to do it again).
There are somethings that my dad taught me though....that I can point to my dad and the wonderful person that he is.
1. My dad taught me how to do dishes. Again, I wasn't the best child, or the smartest!! I would get in trouble, and my dad would give me dishes for the night, and I would say stupid things like "why don't you just make it a week" and so on and so forth. Well, daddy being the nice person that he is...let me keep doing dishes for 3 months because I so badly wanted to do them.
2. My dad taught me something else that I am grateful for. He taught me that even though his eyes are closed... he was still awake and could still watch TV. I would think that my dad was sleeping and think that I was tricky and ask my dad for money...and he would talk "in his sleep" and say "Sure honey...when you get a job!!"
3. My dad also taught me that I wouldn't always get what I wanted. The older I got, I think the worse I got. I admit that I would antagonize my siblings and they would pick on me...and of course I would yell for daddy. Well...it seems the dumber I got the smarter my dad got. By the time I was 14 my dad had caught on and would either ignore me, or he would say "Ryan wouldn't beat on you if you wouldn't say things to him" or things like that!
4. My dad taught me that it was a privledge to have a door. I was famous for slamming my door and I guess one day my dad got tired of it and took my door off the hinges. So of course I pretended like I didn't care and then I got out of the shower...and it was really hard to get dressed. So my dad...being the funny man that he is, set my door up against the frame so I could get dressed. Well I guess one day I forgot about my door and tried to slam it and it fell, and scared the crap out of me. I didn't stop slamming my door, but I did learn it was a privledge to have one!!
But both of my parents have been awesome and have taught me together how to be a lady, how to earn money, and that some things just aren't worth making a big deal out of. I think that the thing that made me the most mad, was shortly after Matt and I got married. Matt and I got in a fight and I went to my parents house. Of course I slammed the door so everyone knew I was there and to pay attention to me. I sat on the couch and started pouting. My parents came in and asked me what was wrong, and all I said was "I don't believe in happy families. And my parents both said "ok." Well let me tell you I was so mad that they didn't want to hear what happened that I forgot why I was mad and left, but that day they did teach me that I was an adult and I was married and that they didn't want to hear the details, but they have always shown me that they love me and that they would be there for me.

Would you PASS or FAIL???

The main reason that I am posting the blog is because I had a really scary thing happen to me today. I have been avoiding it for as long as I could...and I finally decided to do it and get it over with. I took my written test today to get my cosmetology license. So it all started last night. I asked Matt to give me a blessing and like any good man would..he did as I asked. Then I made him say family prayers last night..and then again this morning. And...he even made me breakfast in bed to prepare for my testl. So my test was scheduled at 11 but they said I needed to be there by 10:30...so being as paranoid as I am...I left at 9...hoping to get there in time. Well...I ended up getting there an hour early and I saw another girl that was taking the test at 10, so they let me go in with her and take my test. To make a long story short, I totally FREAKED myself out but I ended up passing. I knew immediately that the first thing I needed to do was thank Heavenly Father for helping and then call my parents. Which I did. I was so relieved to pass my test...it was really scary(I HATE taking tests).

So then as I was driving home I was thinking about some things in my life that have been going on and I asked myself...if I died today would I be able to pass and say that I did everything I could to the best of my ability? Or would I fail and try to give excuses to why I couldn't do things. For my test this morning I could have missed 17 questions to pass. Something tells me that there are more than 17 things in my life that I could work on in order to pass the final test.

So now the question is...would you pass or would you fail?

Baby?!?!

Many of you already know why I am depressed most of the time, so don't feel obligated to read this... I just need to get some things off my chest.

As many of you know, Matt and I have been trying to have a baby now for almost 2 1/2 years...and I am starting to wonder and worry if we will ever have kids, I mean...Matt and I have both been promised kids, but when??? I know that things don't happen on my time...and that sucks...I hate it, but I need to know that there is hope for me. We have both been to the doctor and neither of us have anything known that could prevent us from having kids. I am just so upset. Wouldn't it be awesome if you could just pray for something...and you could get a specific answer, such as...not right now, but in approximately 2 months...wouldn't that be nice?? I think so.
Matt and I are not at the age where it has to happen now or it is never going to happen, but for us...we just keep wondering how much longer we are supposed to wait. It is KILLING us. Matt handles it better than I do, but it just seems like everything I ever thing about is having a baby. I know that if we come to a point that we can't physically have children that there are other options, but is it so wrong to want to have my own children? To be able to experience that? To know that the child that I am getting is a little piece of me and Matt?
I want a baby so bad...and then there are people out there that could care less if they have kids, or treat their kids like crap. I was adopted and my parents never hid that from me, so because of me being adopted I have always wanted to adopt a child and give it a second chance like I was given, but I want to do it AFTER I have my own children. It makes me so angry when I see pregnant people that are complaining about being pregnant. A friend of mine told me of a story that when her mother was in relief society a woman stood up and was complaining about various things that were wrong with her children, they were sick. Apparently, another woman behind the one that was complaining stood up and was unable to have children and said "what I wouldn't give to have a screaming child."
I always wanted to have kids young, and now that I am a little older I am REALLY grateful that I didn't because of things that I may not have gotten to do if I did have small children at home, I got to go to college which many women who have kids don't get to do, and many other things.

I know you are probably thinking that I am only 22 and have my whole life ahead of me, but having my own family is my life...I feel so empty, almost like I am missing something. You're right I am only 22, but alot of people don't have to try for 2 1/2 years, and every month cry and feel worthless. I just don't know if I should be worried or what??? Are Matt and I doing something wrong? Or are we doing something right and this is our test and trial in life?? I just have so many questions...I want to know why it isn't happening for us, and if it does happen WHEN?? I feel so alone...and although I know there are people out there that know exactly how I feel, I feel like nobody knows how I feel and what I am going through.

My Bubby!!!

So this last weekend Matt and I got to go to Illinois and see my family. It was so fun!! And it snowed while we were up there. And because we were up there for a specific reason...it brings me to my post that I have been slacking on for a couple weeks. My post is about P.J.

PJ and I have always had a special bond. We are both adopted and have always gotten along great...and gotten in trouble together because we got along so well. Anyways, Easter weekend was PJ's Eagle court of Honor. I can honestly say, I don't think I have ever been so proud of my brother. PJ has always just been my little brother...my bubby, but this last weekend it was like he grew up...overnight!! I don't know what happened.

I can't really say alot about PJ, but it seems like even for being so young..he is SO smart. PJ always gives me good advice and is always there to listen if I just need to talk...and if I need a laugh, for instance, this last weekend I was really depressed and after days of avoiding him, PJ finally got me to tell him what was wrong. I was complaining about having a baby and he told me to try..HELLO!!!! I said we are trying(he informed me that he didn't want to hear about that) and then said....Cristi...you always get what you want, just try harder. I said PJ....Matt and I can only try so hard, to which he restated, just try harder. See what I mean. PJ just turned 15 yesterday and I never thought I would be talking to him about having a baby. CRAZY!!! This last weekend was a blast with him though!!! I will post pictures as soon as I can, so stay tuned!!!

Kameron Grace!!!

K....first of all...I am excited to say that I just bought mine and Matts tickets to go see my parents for Easter!!!! We haven't been out there before so this should be fun! I am really excited!!

Now onto more important things.

Kami was always the peacemaker in our home. If someone was fighting, Kami would always try to calm the storm and get things figured out. Most of the time when it was me fighting it worked because I got so mad at Kami that I stopped being mad at whomever I was fighting with. I don't think I really appreciated my sister as much as I should have until she got her mission call. Up until that point she was just my sister...but once she got her mission call, it was like she was a real person...one that I should look up to and love. At the time that Kami got her call(this is going to sound so funny... because AGAIN...I tricked someone into thinking I knew what I was doing!!!) I was going to Beauty School and Kami said that I could practice doing her nails. I was so excited because little did she know that I went to 1 day of my nail class and ditched the rest. But I led her to believe that I knew what I was doing. To make a long story short, I think I did 5 nails, all of which were about an inch thick and 4 of which didn't even make it to the next day before falling off. Kami being the awesome person that she is...told me that if I practiced more, she would let me do her nails when she got back. Kami also was always willing to let me practice doing stuff to her hair(not cutting though, I guess she learned from the nail story!! Or coloring either) So basically she always let me style her hair. When I was thinking about going to Beauty School, I didn't really tell anyone because Sara was a nurse, and Kami went to school for something about Dental stuff, so I felt like my job, in comparison to theirs, would be a joke. But once I got to do Kami's hair...she made me feel like my job was just as important as her job, and Sara's job.

I don't really have a lot of memories with Kami...but she has always been there for me. When Matt and I decided to get married...she told me I was dumb...but then she took pictures for us and she did my hair...that's just the kind of person that Kami is, whether she agrees with you or not...she will stand by your side. She has always been the person in the family that would give everything that she has to make you happy...she always let me get into her make-up, she let me steal her clothes, and her shoes.

I miss my sister though. She is living in St. Louis with my parents...and I never thought I would miss her as much as I do. I am SO excited to go visit my family!!!!

Can you guess who this is for???? Hehe!!

So, just to mix things up a little bit, before I tell you who the next person is....I want to see if you can guess it. I will give you 3 clues, and you do the rest!!!
1. This person was my very best friend growing up...

2. This person(to his dismay)was in the same grade as me in school....
Does anyone know who I am talking about yet?????

3. This person is only 9 months older than me......

K, if you haven't guessed yet, this entry is for Danny.

Danny has always...and pretty much still is, been there for me. I of course used to always like his friends...(isn't that what younger sisters do???) Anyways, one time in 9th grade I REALLY liked one of his friends who we will call....Steve. Well Steve had a friend, who we will call....Karl, and Karl liked me but I didn't like him so he tried to get in the way of me and Steve. Well, I remember one day I came out of Seminary and Karl called me a really awful and hurtful name, and of course...there was my brother right when I needed him. He was the first person that I ran to. I told Danny what Karl had called me, and I half expected Danny to tell me to just ignore him and forget about it, but he didn't. Danny went up to Karl and basically told him off. I seriously thought Danny was going to kill Karl, but he didn't. That is just one memory.

Another memory that I have of Danny is going to a school dance with him and Rachel. I didn't know my date very well so they doubled with us(actually...they had to because my parents wouldn't let me go if they didn't...another time that my brother stepped in to save me). Anyways, we went to a little place called Islands for dinner, and because I felt so uncomfortable, Danny and Rachel sat there the entire time just making me laugh. Ah...Good times.

To be honest, I don't really have a memory without Danny in it. As we are getting older we are growing apart, but I still have these things that I will always hold on to...and I know that even if Matt called me something or did something to hurt me, Danny would be right there for me to go and cry on his shoulder. Thanks Danny, it has meant the world to me!!

Rachel

The first time I met Rachel, she didn't know that I was related to Danny. She was in one class with me and one class with Danny, we obviously had the same last name....but she never put 2 and 2 together, so when she found out that we were related...it was hilarious!!!!! Rachel has always been there no matter what, whether she agreed with me or not. One funny memory I have of Rachel(which is also how she got the nickname Smurf) was on Valentines day. She was supposed to go out with Danny and for whatever reason she wanted BLUE hair. SO I convinced her that I totally knew how to color hair(I lied in case none of you know!!!) So we went and bought the color, I put it on her hair, her skin, the kitchen sink, myself, her clothes, pretty much everything. I got halfway done with her hair and there was the doorbell. It was Danny!!! To make a long story short, Danny had to talk to Rachel's dad for about 30 minutes by himself, and Rachel was late...because of me.

If that wasn't bad enough...she kept coming back for more. One time I was trying to bleach her hair...(I am laughing just thinking about it)and we ran out of bleach, but of course all the beauty supply stores were closed, and I didn't have my drivers license so we went to Wal-Mart with her hair half done. Ah...funny times!!

The last time that I remember that really meant a lot to me was when Matt and I were getting ready to go through the Temple, I had this really specific dress that I wanted(which was really impossible to make) and Rachel went and bought the pattern, all the fabric, and everything else that was needed...and she offered to make my dress for me. (I don't know how to sew very well) Well...turns out the pattern was just a Little(a lot) too small for me. We did whatever we could to make it work..but it didn't.
So for Rachel...I love you and I know that you were supposed to be part of my family. I am so glad that you are my sister.

For Ryan

I decided last night that every day I am going to post one new thing about someone in my family that means something to me...that maybe they don't know is something that I have held on to...so I started with Sara yesterday, and today I am going to do Ryan...so here goes.

I don't know if you guys know this but Ryan and I are like.....oil and water, we don't exactly mix well, and we never have. So one day I was feeling really crapy about myself(seems to happen a lot...I know, but bare with me) anyways, Ryan was on his mission and I think I had written him maybe like 3 letters, anyways, I came home from school and usually my parents got the mail and then gave our stuff to us, but I looked on the table and much to my suprise, there was a single letter addressed to me, from Ryan. I was really shocked and a little bit leary to open it, but I did anyways. I started reading it and I just remember starting to cry. I had made a C.D. for all of the missionaries that I knew of me playing some of my favorite songs, and my brother had actually taken the time to listen to it. I was so shocked. Ryan commented on my C.D. and I just remember thinking, my brother probably has so many things he could have been doing or listening to, and he picked my C.D. He also apologized for us not getting along our entire life. This may seem like something stupid to you, but it meant the world to me. I actually keep the letter in my scrapbook, I don't think anybody else in my family even knows that I got the letter. I am so grateful that even though it may just be a letter....it is something that I constantly can look at and know that even when my brother is being a jerk, I have proof that he does love me and knows that I am his sister forever.

For Sara

So after my selfishness from yesterday wore off about 11:00 last night, I was still pretty upset about my life, so I decided that before I waste any more time wondering why....I should spend my time on better things. So I did my personal scripture reading. It has been something that I have really struggled with and I am finally getting back in the habit. So I was reading in 2 Nephi and it was talking about being blessed, and I decided that I am just not looking in the right direction. It is so easy to see the bad things that we often forget about the good things. I was reading my sisters and my sister in law's pages and I was just so....in shock, I mean these women have been through something that no person should ever have to go through...and I am complaining that my life is bad?? How is that fair? I mean...sure, today I am still a little sad that my life isn't where I want it to be...but isn't that because of the choices that I have made? I don't have the greatest relationship with my family...and I think it is partly because I haven't tried as hard as maybe I should be. I was thinking of my family though last night...and I have so many memries of one of my sisters in particular...Sara. When I was younger...I was a pain in the butt(hard to believe...I know!!!) But no matter how stupid I was being and immature...when I would get in a fight with my mom, it was always Sara that took me out. We didn't do anything like unforgettable...but she wanted to take me...she offered. She just wanted to help me. I also remember at Womens Conference in 2005, it was me, nana, mom, and Sara, and it was Sara that shared a room with me, and that went to all the classes that I wanted to go to...not because she wanted to go to the class, but because she wanted to be with me.

My entire life, I have felt that I am not as good as my siblings, that I don't quite belong. And yesterday, while I was thinking about old times...there were times that I wasn't as good as them, but it was because of me, not them. I am so glad that I have the chance to be a part of the family that I have. We may fight at times...but I know that no matter what is going on in their lives or in mine, they would kill for me, and I would do the same for them.

Last night I was saying my personal prayers...and I was just sobbing because I felt so touched. You know...like the feeling you get when someone hugs you. I just felt like my daddy was hugging me, I love my daddy more than anything, I mean...don't get me wrong, I love my mom too, I just was always a daddy's girl...and I don't think that my dad would be very happy with what I am doing with my life. I try not to let anyone know that something is wrong. I don't want anyone to tell me that I am wrong for feeling the way I do, but even when my dad tells me, it is different...I actually listen. Anyways....long story short...I had my awakening, so take advantage of it while it lasts...because it may not be for very long!!!

My name is Cristina Dixon, I am married to Matthew Dixon. We were married on November 12, 2005 and sealed for all eternity on November 18, 2006. I have 5 brothers and sisters and Matt has 3 brothers and sisters. Together we have 13 nieces and nephews which are quite a handful but fun and we love them! We like to meet new people and have fun. We especially like to meet other young married couples that we can have fun with!!!